背靠背

I really have a hard time choosing between these two places...

小星辰 和 寧夏

not only last year,

but this summer as well

both are places where great memories were

both are places where we shared laughs and tears

both are places where I learned love and spread love

both are places which are the first priorities I want to go during summer

last year i was fortunate that I was able to go both

but this year,

I have to choose one of them to go

寧夏國際志工與小星辰今年撞期了

在五月  就確定我要去寧夏了

可是今天接到小星辰總部的電話時

still felt lost

still felt helpless

中台是一個充滿愛的地方

是我從小就熟悉的地方

是一個我可以完全發揮好好發心的地方

去中台  我知道的

不只是發心 

而是身體力行  以小小的自己實現小小一部分老和尚的悲願

these two places are so different

在中台  是從長官們身上學很多  感動很多

每一組組長  法師  輔導法師  值星官  他們可以不用睡覺替這個營隊盡心盡力

在寧夏  是從孩子們身上學到很多  感動很多

他們認真努力想從你身上把每一個你教的單字片語學起來  他們可以只為了看你一眼跑了好多個山頭來學校

不是我很自命不凡

但是今天師父打來  而且還是我認識的見薩法師

早上我已經跟師父說了我今年無法上山發心

下午  師父又再打來  希望我可以改變一下行程

說見革法師  某某法師很讚賞我的能力

需要能做事的人

中台就是這樣的地方 

也許你們會覺得很煩

可是我不覺得煩

我感到的是愧疚

從小在山上受到多少師父師兄弟的照顧

當小星辰需要我的時候 

中台的法師們這麼看重我  想要把重責大任交給我  讓我發大心的時候

我竟然無能為力

現在很多人上山是交朋友的

and i really can't agree with that

though we found our beloved one there

這是因緣

我上山就是去發心的

你沒看我都不太與別人閒磕牙的嗎?

我也知道明年去不了小星辰了

我也知道eventually there would be a year which is your last year to be there in the Little Star camp

but I just didn't realize it would come so soon

didn't understand that last year might probably be that "last" and final year

so it's about choices again

and i hate making choices

it's hard

espcially when both of them are places where good memories were

both are places I work so hard without thinking about myslef, but for others

both are places where I belong to